I asked her who resides in the other half part of my body:
“What do you want now?”
She answered:
“I don’t know”
Then she questioned me back:
“What do you want?”
I replied:
“I don’t know, either”
Never thought before that we both could be so helpless;
Numbed from coldness of not knowing what we really sought for;
It’s an unbearable feeling of emptiness
Thus far, she who resides in the other half part of my body,
always knew the answers to every of my questions.
Once I asked her if she’s willing to take this long journey to
—what I supposed—
the realm of infinite knowingness.
Without hesitance she replied:
“I’ll go your way”
We rushed.
We thought we almost got to the end of our journey to
—what I supposed—
the realm of infinite knowingness,
when suddenly we saw that swing under the elm tree;
swaying lightly in the wind
It felt so tranquil around
All was so bright
Weary, we sat on the swing
The wind suddenly blew harder
We clung to its ropes
Held our breath
We’re flown high
And it just stopped…..
There, so high
We looked down
There we saw my father playing his kendhang
My little niece in her red bikini
My mother sleeping on the sofa
My sister crying for her collapsed house
My nephew in his graduation costume
My brother fixing his old car
My dearest girlfriend tearing out her wedding picture
And my ex-boyfriend reading his two princesses a bed time story
Felt like reaching out to them
But I couldn’t
It was too high;
and I dared not loose my hands that held on tightly to the ropes
Time just stopped
It was when I asked her who resides in the other half part of my body
“What do you want now?”
And she answered “I don’t know”
And it was when I finally turned my head to the one
who put us off from the swing
……
Amethisthof 43, Windy October 2006